Have you ever...

Have you ever been deeply and sincerly upset when a celeb died i have lol.
When I was growing up i LOVED boyzone i mean heart and soul and to this day i still do. i wilkl hold my hands up and admit it.

Stephan Gately was my first Celeb crush... i know he was gay but i really didnt ccare i still loved him:) so in october when he died, i was for lack of a better word absoloutely devestated.

my first crush!! gone!!

I was just Watching boyzone:a tribute to stephan gately!!
i could not stop crying!! i mean i was crying and i was crying HARD!
i loved it so much..

Anyway i need Sleep!!
Cinderella tomoro ;)
<3

Sunday's

I Hate the feeling of sundays... just the way they feel like ok tomro we can rlax and have fun and chill out ready for monday aat work/college/school. but i can guarentee that by 10 o'clock on that monday all the relaxing youi went through on sunday will be completely wiped out and forgotten.
i am lucky tho i get mondays off college :)
we call monday my cinderella day the day i do all my laundery and clean the house and my room and get all my college stuff done.

Music

Songs Can Bring Tears To My Eyes: Not Many do. but ther eare some that really do, the kind that brings up all these goosebumps and gets your voice caught in yuor throat and brings up a lump in your throught, makes your eyes well up. Atm the two that do it for me are
Boyzone: Gave It all Away. for the pure and simple fact that i love boyzone and i loved stephan gately even more and he died and its bthat reason that the song makes me cry :(
and also
young artists for haiti: wavin' flag. this song is so powerful it gives me goosebumps!! i love it! so much!!

Love Poems

I Love Reading Poems At The Moment... i have trouble sleeping atm, i really dont know why.
when i cant sleep i read poetry it helps so much and also i'm a slow reader and it really frustrates me so again reading poetry helps.
At the moment i have a favourite:


Juan Ramon Jimenez: Were I Reborn

"Were I reborn a stone, even so i should love you woman
Were I reborn as wind, even so i should love you woman
Were I reborn a wave, even so i should love you woman
Were I reborn as fire, even so i should love you woman
Were I reborn a man, even so i should love you woman."
<3<3

?

i fell so .... strange..

its almost ;like the world around me isnt the world i belong to any more.

i dont know if that sounds right or if is seems com,pletely obsurd but i've never felt so out of place in my own skin and this feeling or not belonging in the place i really want to be.

its almost like everything i love doing taking pictures reading singing listening to music going tmo the pictures watching dvd's its like the last time i will do everything and its a very uncomfortable feeling.

have you ever tried to change you routine? lol i know random but i just feel like changing my routine .... i feel like i missing my things because my routine is all jacked up.
maybe thats the reason im feeling so out of place recently :S
i keeps say7ing right ...
thats it....
i'm gonna change my diet...
Take Better Care Of My Self..
Do my coursework....
Stop Fighting With My Sister...
Keep My Room Tidy....
and do you know what i do i actually do it ....
for about 3 days
i am truely useless lol. you know i'm 18... i'm meant to be good at stuff like this, you know the responsible one the good one the one people go to with their problems but i am actually sick of it lol you know from the age of 12 til now i have been the responsible i mean i had to i didnt have a choice in the matter. you know i got a quick bump into to reality and didnt get to you know .... accustom to what was happening... i had to be the big girl ond get on with it. and now i have been doing it ever since, i dont get a chance to do things for me. in 24 hours i say us, we and you more times than i say me or i. i never just do things for myself theres always a plus one in my plans.
but now that i'm 18 im an adult and its about time i start putting myself ahead of everyone else... take care of number 1 but its not who i am i'm not selfish:(

have you ever listened to a song and think ... "wow... thats my life... they wrote those lyrics about my life?" i have lol may be pathetic but i'm litening to hannah montana and her lyrics are speaking to nme completely !
"Every Part Of Me"
Maybe I Will Never Be Who I Was Before
Maybe I Dont Even Know Her AnyMore
Or Maybe Who I Am Today
Ain't So Far From Yesterday
Can I Find A Way To Be
EveryPartOfMe
<3<3

50 Things

50 Things I wanna Do Before I Die

1. See Bon Jovi Live


2. Get Married/Have Kids


3. Go To The Usa


4. Go To Italy


5. Get My Licence


6. Ride In A Hot Air Balloon


7. Learn To Ride A Horse


8. Ride A Motor Bike
9. Perform In Front of Thousandds of People -- DONE!!
10. FInd A Cure For Cancer
11. See Dirty Dancing On Stage
12. Take My Dad To Gracelands
13. Buy Myself A Bulldog
14. Go Cliff Diving
15. Go To Hawaii
16. Learn To Play The Guitar
17. Meet Elvis Costello
18. Run A Marathon
19. Put On A Concert For Cancer Awarness
20. Bring More Awareness To Menenjitus
21. Live By The Beach
22. Buy A Horse
23. Meet Chad Michael Murray ;)
24. Write A Charity Song
25. Go Sky Diving
26. Take My Sister To Meet Robert Pattinson
27. Go Down To The Wreck Of Titanic
28. Buy A Beetles Album
29. Learn To Dye My Own Hair -- DONE
30. Date A Rockstar
31. Read Pride And Prejudice -- DONE
32. Paint A Masterpiece
33. Fly a Plane
34. Tidy My Room -- DONE
35. Create A Jewlerry And Clothing Line
36. Go To Wembley Stadium -- DONE
37. Have a IPhone
38. Move House
39. Raise Money For The Peace Hospice
40. Meet Miley Cyrus
41. Write A Novel
42. See Jonas Brothers Live
43. Go Paintballing
44. Take My Mum Around The World
45. Finish College With Double Distinction
46. Go To Uni
47. Ride In A Limo
48. Release A Single
49. Go To New York
50. Visit FORKS!!

Entry 1

god i cant be bothered lol decided to keep it as like a diary lol

since my last entry everything as happened! my tutor left!! can you belive it he actually left and its almost like he left us up shit creek with out a paddle. all these promises he made us and he has left before he got them all done argh! but on the upside our new tutor is amazing she is brilliant and so nice and understands it gets everything us girls are on about where as the old one just nodded and just listened without actually listening. i had a blood test and yesssss!!! i am not diabetic which made my day i was crapping my pants lol. i went on a easter egg hunt and won!!! i'm actually doing semi well in my copursework for once where as usually i am so behind

anyway xxx

k